DISC Model of Human Behavior

Why Does My Partner Ignore Me?

Large number of people feel the need for a great amount of attention from their partners when they are in love. And it’s not that difficult to feel as if you are being ignored. But things are not always (or almost never) the way they seem to be.

The whole population of humans belongs to one of the four personality types: D, I, S or C. And each human being is a unique mix of the four. That also means that we all communicate differently and to understand why you are “being ignored” you need to understand how different personality styles look at life, work, relationships, and everything that comes in between.

While you might be an outgoing person who loves company, your partner might be on a completely opposite side of the DISC graph and naturally, be quieter and enjoy concentrating on his or her work assignments. If your boyfriend comes to mind right away, regardless of where he stands on a DISC graph, it is important to remember boyfriends don’t intentionally ignore you (most of the time).

A person that belongs to a D personality style is hyper focused on getting things done and is mostly about execution. This means that if a D has a big project at work, nothing will exist outside of it. They are not trying to ignore you, but they are focused on getting whatever it is done. Unfortunately for you, if you are in a relationship with a High D, they will have a list of tasks that need to be done that’s 32 miles long and they won’t be able to sleep until they are done with it. So, remember: they are not ignoring you because they don’t love you; they are just in the zone.  

A partner that is an I personality style is not trying to ignore you, but he has an incredibly short attention span. I am an I and I can confirm that we get into situations where we are all over the place. One of the examples is that we’ll pick up a phone after it buzzes, end up on social media and completely forget why we even picked it up in the first place. The reason behind this is that we suffer from shiny object syndrome and we can get involved in an activity in a blink of an eye. Forgive us, we don’t mean to be the way we are, and we certainly do love you.

If your partner is a S personality style, then he has a big problem with prioritization. He is not ignoring you because he wants to, but because he easily becomes overwhelmed. People who are high S get analysis paralysis and get worried that they might make someone angry if they don’t do something, so they don’t know who or what to prioritize.

A partner that is a C personality style is a very structured and very process-driven individual. This type of person will build in time in their day to check their phone. If you miss that window, there are high chances you will feel ignored. They see a phone as a tool and nothing else. Similar to D’s, C personality types have an extremely long list of tasks they need to finish, but they need to do it in a specific order. So once the phone or talk time comes up in a schedule, they will talk to you. They are not trying to ignore you, but it is just not the right time.

The most important thing we all need to understand is that everything starts with self-awareness. Each of us is a unique blend of four personality styles, so we all have our expectations. What happens when you understand what your personality style is and where does your partner fit in, it will literally change your whole life. The way you act as a couple will change from its core, and you will also see a tremendous change in your behavior at work or around your friends.

DISC Assessment will transform the way you communicate and give you understanding of yourself and others. This also means that it will make you understand how to adapt your behavior around other people. That alone will open doors you never even knew existed when it comes to communicating and networking with other people.

You can find out more about each personality style by checking posts in the sidebar on the right and take that first step toward change by going to the Store and taking the DISC Assessment. 

Is It Possible to Be More Than One Personality Style

There are all kind of great tools out there to understand human behavior (such as culture index, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, StrenghtsFinders test, etc.) but we are concentrating on DISC method here, where you find does your personality belong to D, I, S or C personality style. (The easiest way to learn more about each type is to check the highlighted posts in the sidebar on the right)

Since there are four personality styles: D, I, S and C, it is important to know we are all a unique blend of all four!

That means that a person can never be fully one personality style, because the others will appear in certain amounts as well. How big or small is a different question, but they will always be there.

What DISC Assessment asks you to do is to choose the most or least out of the group of words. It is not uncommon that if you are a strong mix of two or three personality styles, you need to stop and think about what you will choose. Sometimes people can’t continue to the next question of assessment since they are conflicted. And that conflict comes from the fact that they are being pulled to the high areas of each DISC model. If that happens, that kind of person will have most of their traits between 40 and 60 (if we’re looking at a scale of 0 to a 100). So, they are not really intense in any of personality styles, but there will be a high amount of two or three of them and that will create a conflict.

Having more personality styles as your high ones is not a bad thing. The reason is, this also means that you have fewer blind spots, you are closer to the centre of the DISC graph, so your emotional intelligence is going to be higher than someone who has blind spots that come from having only one exceedingly high personality style.

What is good to remember is that there are no right or wrong answers in assessment questions and equally, there is no right or wrong personality style. We are all blend of these 4 traits and that’s how it’s supposed to be.

I suggest you look at the more detailed posts about each personality type in the sidebar and then take an assessment to see where you are on the graph. I can guarantee you will get six pages of great data that will help you better understand yourself. Because if you understand yourself, you will be able to adapt your behavior to meet others where they are and that will significantly reduce conflicts and misunderstandings in your life. Read the posts and then click on the Store in the Menu to find the right assessment for you.      

What is a DISC Personality Test?

The DISC personality ASSESSMENT is the only test where there are no right or wrong answers. It is actually an assessment of your observable, predictable, fully measurable behavior.

You see, some of us move fast, and some of us move a little bit slower, some of us like to organize things and some of us love having fun with others. Regardless, it’s all about being self-aware. The key point is to remember is: EVERYONE IS A UNIQUE BLEND OF ALL 4 OF QUALITIES THAT DISC ASSESSMENT SHOWS.

If we want to look at where it all started, we can go way back to 400 BC and Hippocrates. But to keep things more modern, let’s jump ahead to 1921. Carl Jung wrote the book, Psychological Types.  He suggested a human behavior model that has four types of personalities in terms of who we are and how we do what we do.

Move ahead then to 1928 and William Moulton Marston.  He published a book, Emotions of Normal People.  He described the 4 personality style theory, he sharpened the concept that these 4 personality styles define who we are, and that they are measurable, predictable patterns in terms of how people do what they do on a normal daily basis. This is the model we use today. 



DISC personality assessments became even more popular during WW2. The US Army used this as a tool to hire and to put the highest performing people in officer positions and others where they would be the best fit in the organization. From there, the Government leaked that information in the business world and businesses have used that info in HR since that time.

How does this transform our everyday life? Let me share an example from my personal life that gave me decades of happy marriage and blessed my life with five crazy kids:

Back in 1997, I was a teacher, working at a summer camp. One day I came home and found my wife crying at the edge of the bed. The reason? She said: “Alex, I just don’t understand you.” It struck me as odd, but I asked her to give me an example. She said, “Why I can’t get all the groceries from the grocery list that she gives me. There are only 10 items.”  It was a fair point. I then was curious why she couldn’t be a bit more flexible and spontaneous? We had this exchange back and forth asking more and more questions over the next few minutes.  We got to the point where we were only two years into our marriage and realized we didn’t know each other as well as we thought we did.

In the midst of it all, that summer in the camp I met Dr. Robert Rohm. He handed me a personality assessment and said it would change my life. I didn’t really think it would, but I still filled it out. I found out that I am a people-oriented person who likes to have fun with tons of different people. I care about others’ wants and needs more than my own, and I really enjoy life. But that wasn’t the point. What really struck home with me was: that’s me but that’s not my wife! So I took the assessment home and gave it to my wife. We found out she is a task-oriented, very driven individual. A polar opposite of me and my personality style!

Having that knowledge allowed us to adapt our behavior and meet in the middle; not to have a conflict there but to mesh, get along better and understand our roles better. In short: it made us tremendous marriage partners.  We are perfect complements of one another!

Here we are today!

Would you like to stay married for 25 years with your spouse? Understand your children better? Do you want to help your aging parents in difficult times even if they think of money and security differently than you do?

If those things sound good to you, you need to take a DISC assessment.

It’s an assessment that is above 90 percent accurate in terms of predicting behavior.  To get that above 90 percent accuracy you need to get a quality assessment. A link to my assessment store page is HERE.

If you would like to research a bit more, find all the information on my Podcast or YouTube channel.

How Do High D Styles Avoid Conflict At Work?

How Do D’s Avoid Conflict At Work?  Are you kidding me?  They embrace conflict.  Their middle name is “debate me now”!! 

(Just kidding High D Styles.  But it’s a fun picture!!)

D’s are outgoing and task oriented.  So in meetings and discussions, they WILL get their opinion heard.  They are comfortable interrupting others and making sure they get their point across.  They see it as very transactional.  They have something to say.  They will say it.  Feelings don’t play any role in the transaction.  It’s just a transfer of information.

They have tons of ideas and need to express them as quickly as possible.  This is usually in a very direct way.  They’re not trying to be jerks, they’re simply speaking with efficiency.  They don’t pull any punches.  

For example, you might send an email that says…”Hey High D Style, did you get the proposal I sent over?  “Yes.”   AND????  Well you didn’t ask them what they thought. 

So in summary, D’s embrace conflict.  For them, there’s nothing wrong with a quick shouting match and then things go back to normal pretty soon after.  To communicate effectively with a D, get to your point quickly and be able to respond quickly.  Keep emotion out of it and stick to the facts.  You’ll dramatically improve your results.  

If you want to learn more about Emotional Intelligence and how to use it to improve your personal and professional relationships, click here for my FREE GUIDE:

Top 5 FAQs About E.I. (And Their Answers)

Questions, Questions, Questions, Ep. 55

In today’s episode we discuss the future of the podcast and how we can help you, our audience, improve the way you communicate.


For reference, our introductory episodes to the DISC Model of Human behavior can be found here:

High D “Dominant” Style


High I “Influencing” Style


High S “Supportive” Style


High C “Cautious” Style



ASSESSMENTS can be found at:



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