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Communication

Repetition is the mother of success. True or false?

There are many actions that each of us takes in a day, every day. I’ll assume most of us wash teeth every day, puts on clothes, brushes our hair… These are all actions that we take in a day and that we have been practicing for our whole lives. But can you say that you are doing any or all of these and similar actions perfectly? Do you have the best hairstyle, or the best style, the strongest teeth out there?

If the saying „Practice makes perfect“ is completely correct, you would be able to answer these questions with a strong and confident „Yes!“. However, there is a high chance that you are not so sure about it.

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These are small actions, and there are far bigger in our lives that prove that not every practice makes perfect, and not every repetition is the mother of success.

Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect.

In our daily lives, if we’re doing something over and over again, we will create a habit. Repetition of action becomes engraved in our brains until we break the habit. The consistency that we create by repetition can be something that is consistently good, but it can easily be something that is consistently bad.

That means that the saying that repetition is a mother of success is true, but only if you’re doing the right things. The logical question is: how do I know that I’m doing the right things? How do I know that I’m on the way to perfect?

First and foremost, you need to be intentional about your actions. Just like when you are trying to eat healthier or exercise more; you are very intentional about it. That’s how you get the results that you want: feel better or have more energy.
In the business world, I find that a great source to find the right way is by using mentors. Finding people who have done what you would like to do and getting ideas and processes from them reduces the effort of having to „re-invent the wheel“.
Another way to make sure you are doing the right thing is to implement the processes that are easily implemented by a larger number of people. The reason is that some of us are task-oriented and can easily get tasks done in a very logical manner. Some of us are more people-oriented and can be all over the place. But if we all have a process that is easy to follow, we will get the result we want and make perfect!

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Ask yourself these questions: Do I have the best practices in my daily life? Do I have processes that I follow each day, that bring me the results that I want? Am I just trying new things all the time and having new ideas each day?

Find those things that you are consistent about and use mentioned techniques of finding good, proven processes and implement them consistently. This will cut down a lot of insanity in your company or in your relationship. And it will finally make perfect!

It is worth mentioning that a guide to making your relationship perfect is coming your way next month as I will be holding a FREE webinar for all the couples out there. If you want to learn how to communicate more effectively, watch this space and sign up on time!

Why Is Communication Regarded as Difficult and Complex

Each person on this planet gives and receives information in completely unique way. The reason for it is that we all have a specific lens that we look through and that lens determines how we see life. Harsh truth is this: until you learn how to expand that lens, you won’t be able to communicate with people as effectively as you could, and your relationships are going to suffer as a result.

The key to good communication is to understand what drives people to do what they do and say what they say, and why do people communicate verbally in a way they do?

Communication style of every person depends on their personality style.

High D personality style will communicate very directly, and they are going to say things in a very few words. These people like to move fast and talk fast so you can expect them to give you a short answer to a question and answer exactly what you asked and nothing more or less Also, a high D personality type is going to interrupt you if you start to tell a tale and talk a lot. Remember: they are not trying to be mean, but their brain is just full of questions and news ideas and they must say what is on their mind as soon as it comes there.

If a person from your environment likes to talk with their hands, they are probably a high I personality style. These people are very emotional and excited about everything. They have high energy and want to express themselves any way they can. That means you can expect a lot of emojis in their text messages and emails. Also, they suffer from shiny object syndrome, so they get distracted very easily and extremely fast. Remember that they are not trying to annoy you, they are just wired that way and they need you to snap them out of excitement and pull their focus back about the conversation.

Your co-worker or a friend who doesn’t say much and does so softly when they do is probably a high S personality style. This behavior comes from their lack of willingness to rock the boat or to create conflict. These people are afraid that they will offend someone if they speak their mind and you can expect them to give up on their wishes to please others.

Being cautious in communication is also the biggest trait of a high C personality style. You can recognize them through their monotone tone of voice and lack of emotions. Their expression is never too low nor too high. But don’t get fooled; high C’s are buzzing in the background. Their mind is full of questions and that’s why they communicate the way they do because they need to process all the information carefully to say the right thing, at the right time, and to the right people.

Did you recognize yourself in any of these descriptions? Take notice that without self and social awareness, we can not communicate effectively.

The starting point is to understand yourself and your personality style. That will help you know how and why you communicate and how you can communicate with other personality styles.

You can find out more about different personality styles on my YouTube channel or on my Podcast, and if you want to take that first step towards better communication today: check the DISC assessment in the Store.

What is a DISC Personality Test?

The DISC personality ASSESSMENT is the only test where there are no right or wrong answers. It is actually an assessment of your observable, predictable, fully measurable behavior.

You see, some of us move fast, and some of us move a little bit slower, some of us like to organize things and some of us love having fun with others. Regardless, it’s all about being self-aware. The key point is to remember is: EVERYONE IS A UNIQUE BLEND OF ALL 4 OF QUALITIES THAT DISC ASSESSMENT SHOWS.

If we want to look at where it all started, we can go way back to 400 BC and Hippocrates. But to keep things more modern, let’s jump ahead to 1921. Carl Jung wrote the book, Psychological Types.  He suggested a human behavior model that has four types of personalities in terms of who we are and how we do what we do.

Move ahead then to 1928 and William Moulton Marston.  He published a book, Emotions of Normal People.  He described the 4 personality style theory, he sharpened the concept that these 4 personality styles define who we are, and that they are measurable, predictable patterns in terms of how people do what they do on a normal daily basis. This is the model we use today. 

 

 

DISC personality assessments became even more popular during WW2. The US Army used this as a tool to hire and to put the highest performing people in officer positions and others where they would be the best fit in the organization. From there, the Government leaked that information in the business world and businesses have used that info in HR since that time.

How does this transform our everyday life? Let me share an example from my personal life that gave me decades of happy marriage and blessed my life with five crazy kids:

Back in 1997, I was a teacher, working at a summer camp. One day I came home and found my wife crying at the edge of the bed. The reason? She said: “Alex, I just don’t understand you.” It struck me as odd, but I asked her to give me an example. She said, “Why I can’t get all the groceries from the grocery list that she gives me. There are only 10 items.”  It was a fair point. I then was curious why she couldn’t be a bit more flexible and spontaneous? We had this exchange back and forth asking more and more questions over the next few minutes.  We got to the point where we were only two years into our marriage and realized we didn’t know each other as well as we thought we did.

In the midst of it all, that summer in the camp I met Dr. Robert Rohm. He handed me a personality assessment and said it would change my life. I didn’t really think it would, but I still filled it out. I found out that I am a people-oriented person who likes to have fun with tons of different people. I care about others’ wants and needs more than my own, and I really enjoy life. But that wasn’t the point. What really struck home with me was: that’s me but that’s not my wife! So I took the assessment home and gave it to my wife. We found out she is a task-oriented, very driven individual. A polar opposite of me and my personality style!

Having that knowledge allowed us to adapt our behavior and meet in the middle; not to have a conflict there but to mesh, get along better and understand our roles better. In short: it made us tremendous marriage partners.  We are perfect complements of one another!

Here we are today!

Would you like to stay married for 25 years with your spouse? Understand your children better? Do you want to help your aging parents in difficult times even if they think of money and security differently than you do?

If those things sound good to you, you need to take a DISC assessment.

It’s an assessment that is above 90 percent accurate in terms of predicting behavior.  To get that above 90 percent accuracy you need to get a quality assessment. A link to my assessment store page is HERE.

If you would like to research a bit more, find all the information on my Podcast or YouTube channel.

How Do High D Styles Avoid Conflict At Work?

How Do D’s Avoid Conflict At Work?  Are you kidding me?  They embrace conflict.  Their middle name is “debate me now”!! 

(Just kidding High D Styles.  But it’s a fun picture!!)

D’s are outgoing and task oriented.  So in meetings and discussions, they WILL get their opinion heard.  They are comfortable interrupting others and making sure they get their point across.  They see it as very transactional.  They have something to say.  They will say it.  Feelings don’t play any role in the transaction.  It’s just a transfer of information.

They have tons of ideas and need to express them as quickly as possible.  This is usually in a very direct way.  They’re not trying to be jerks, they’re simply speaking with efficiency.  They don’t pull any punches.  

For example, you might send an email that says…”Hey High D Style, did you get the proposal I sent over?  “Yes.”   AND????  Well you didn’t ask them what they thought. 

So in summary, D’s embrace conflict.  For them, there’s nothing wrong with a quick shouting match and then things go back to normal pretty soon after.  To communicate effectively with a D, get to your point quickly and be able to respond quickly.  Keep emotion out of it and stick to the facts.  You’ll dramatically improve your results.  

If you want to learn more about Emotional Intelligence and how to use it to improve your personal and professional relationships, click here for my FREE GUIDE:

Top 5 FAQs About E.I. (And Their Answers)

Questions, Questions, Questions, Ep. 55

In today’s episode we discuss the future of the podcast and how we can help you, our audience, improve the way you communicate.

 

For reference, our introductory episodes to the DISC Model of Human behavior can be found here:

High D “Dominant” Style

https://www.alexswire-clark.com/03-the-dominant-high-d-personality-style/

High I “Influencing” Style

https://www.alexswire-clark.com/episode-4-the-inspiring-high-i-personality-style/

High S “Supportive” Style

https://www.alexswire-clark.com/the-supportive-high-s-type-they-are-loving-and-loyal/

High C “Cautious” Style

https://www.alexswire-clark.com/the-cautious-high-c-personality-style/

 

ASSESSMENTS can be found at:

http://www.personalityservice.com/portal/GPPM/store

 

We want your input!!  Head over to our website at therapportadvantage.com.  Leave us a message on our contact page or Speakpipe App.  You can also follow the show on twitter @RapportPodcast. Or find us on Facebook at The Rapport Advantage Podcast.

Let us know what topics you’d be interested in when it comes to improving communication, building better teams, and reducing conflict at work or in your personal life.

Thanks for listening!!  We would love for you to subscribe!!

 

FREE Emotional Intelligence Mini Course

Did you know that up to 90% of all interpersonal conflict comes from differences in temperament? Are you struggling to understand others? Maybe you want to improve the way you communicate in your personal and professional relationships. 
This free Mini-course will teach you about the different types of temperament, which one you are, and how to determine the temperament of others.