Personality

Why Do You Really Get Into a Conflict?

Even though every person is a unique individual, we can still divide the world into two kinds of people: outgoing and reserved. To be more precise, some people think fast, talk fast, and move fast and those are the outgoing kind. On the other hand, reserved people are a bit more on the shy side and typically think well before speaking. That’s just how people are, and even though reserved people will have problems while trying to understand outgoing individuals (and vice versa), that’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to conflicts.

Where the conflict lies is in another way people are divided into two groups. Conflict comes from a fact that people are either people-oriented, or they are more task-oriented.

A people-oriented person gets their energy from being surrounded by others. That means that when they need to recharge their batteries, they will choose an activity that will put them in a position where they are surrounded by people, whether that’s going for a barbecue or walking with a friend around the mall or going to a party.

Task-oriented people get their energy from checking out boxes. That means they will choose to recharge by doing chores, like mowing the grass, cleaning the pool etc.

The conflict happens when these two kinds of people come into close contact, whether by working on the same project or living together. They will always want different things and if they are not careful and understanding, they can easily end up in a “war zone”.

To understand each other it is important to know that every individual is a mix of four different personality styles: D, I, S and C, and that’s where their people or task orientation comes from.

D and C personality styles will always tend to get things done and they won’t enjoy spending time on chit-chat. I personality style will be all about fun and they will move fast, easily getting distracted. An S personality will move slower and focus on people and relationships rather than trying to climb the corporate ladder.
As we said: two groups of people and a sure way for interpersonal conflict. However, there is a way to eliminate it before it even starts.

Image by Tasy Hong from Pixabay

Firstly, we need to understand ourselves and how we are wired to then be able to understand others. Once you understand yourself (by taking the DISC Assessment) you will begin to realize how others are different from you and you will get tools and guidance on how to adapt your behavior to meet others where they are.

If you get on the path of understanding yourself and start the road of behavior adaptation, it will lead to a whole new world of ideas and perspectives that you didn’t even know existed. It will impact everything from how you raise your children, how you are as a spouse, to how you deal with and close projects at the workplace. Head over to the Store and take the first step of stepping out of conflict today.

By Alex Swire-Clark

The Cautious High C Personality

Accountants, scientists, philosophers… all the deep thinkers and innovators carry a C personality in themselves. Being a high C personality means that you dislike interruptions and triviality, but you always look at the big picture and give out ideas.

High C or Cautious personality style is characterized by being:

Cautious: High C personality stye will always measure twice and cut once. So if you have a project in your company that you need done right, your best bet is to give it to the High C.

Conscientious: Being on time, every time is a way of life that a High C enjoys. They are not willing to waste time and can be described as extremely punctual.

Competent: They are the brains behind any operation, and they keep everyone else on their toes. A High C will make sure they do the research to know the facts, prepare everything and present it to anyone at any workplace. Additionally, it is good to give a High C a lot of details about a task before they start working on it, as details and clear instructions provide comfort for High C’s.

Contemplative: When faced with an issue, you can expect a High C to look inwards for ideas and answers to problems or ideas. Being there for them but letting them find a solution for whatever they are facing is the best way to deal with a High C.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle described the though process of a High C perfectly.

Correct: Not only do the High C personality styles love to be right, but they must be right. Since they love getting into details, they will check all the available resources to make sure they are 100 per cent right all the time. That’s also the reason why is it so hard for a High C to apologize, because they are just “always right”.

Consistent: High C personality style is very consistent in terms of producing good quality details for every situation. That means that if you are in a relationship with a High C personality, you don’t have to worry that they will not be sure even where to eat and what to eat; their mind is made up before they ever enter the restaurant.

All the characteristics mentioned are certainly desirable in work or private relationship, but as always: there is a downside to being a High C. Being so much into details and tasks at hand can make a High C seam cold. Since they like to end all their tasks that they have in a day, to do so they sometimes see people around them as an obstacle to getting things done. If you are a High C, you need to be careful not to be portrayed as cold and take more notice of people that surround you.

Every personality style has it’s likes and dislikes, and in order to know how to communicate better between us, it is good to know what those are. If you recognize a High C in your home or at work, keep in mind what are the things they like:

To be right
To know what is expected of them
Clear instructions
An established pattern
Making lists and finishing what they start
Organizing things.

Having a High C personality at your workplace or at home will help you have a more organized life and/or tasks, however, it is important to remember that you will need to have details laid out for them. They are highly logical and need to understand why something is being done at all. But once they see the logic and take the task into their own hands, be sure you have nothing to worry about anymore. These reserved and task-oriented folks will ask a lot of questions, but they are all worth it.

By Dina Bralic

Why Does My Partner Ignore Me?

Large number of people feel the need for a great amount of attention from their partners when they are in love. And it’s not that difficult to feel as if you are being ignored. But things are not always (or almost never) the way they seem to be.

The whole population of humans belongs to one of the four personality types: D, I, S or C. And each human being is a unique mix of the four. That also means that we all communicate differently and to understand why you are “being ignored” you need to understand how different personality styles look at life, work, relationships, and everything that comes in between.

While you might be an outgoing person who loves company, your partner might be on a completely opposite side of the DISC graph and naturally, be quieter and enjoy concentrating on his or her work assignments. If your boyfriend comes to mind right away, regardless of where he stands on a DISC graph, it is important to remember boyfriends don’t intentionally ignore you (most of the time).

A person that belongs to a D personality style is hyper focused on getting things done and is mostly about execution. This means that if a D has a big project at work, nothing will exist outside of it. They are not trying to ignore you, but they are focused on getting whatever it is done. Unfortunately for you, if you are in a relationship with a High D, they will have a list of tasks that need to be done that’s 32 miles long and they won’t be able to sleep until they are done with it. So, remember: they are not ignoring you because they don’t love you; they are just in the zone.

A partner that is an I personality style is not trying to ignore you, but he has an incredibly short attention span. I am an I and I can confirm that we get into situations where we are all over the place. One of the examples is that we’ll pick up a phone after it buzzes, end up on social media and completely forget why we even picked it up in the first place. The reason behind this is that we suffer from shiny object syndrome and we can get involved in an activity in a blink of an eye. Forgive us, we don’t mean to be the way we are, and we certainly do love you.

If your partner is a S personality style, then he has a big problem with prioritization. He is not ignoring you because he wants to, but because he easily becomes overwhelmed. People who are high S get analysis paralysis and get worried that they might make someone angry if they don’t do something, so they don’t know who or what to prioritize.

A partner that is a C personality style is a very structured and very process-driven individual. This type of person will build in time in their day to check their phone. If you miss that window, there are high chances you will feel ignored. They see a phone as a tool and nothing else. Similar to D’s, C personality types have an extremely long list of tasks they need to finish, but they need to do it in a specific order. So once the phone or talk time comes up in a schedule, they will talk to you. They are not trying to ignore you, but it is just not the right time.

The most important thing we all need to understand is that everything starts with self-awareness. Each of us is a unique blend of four personality styles, so we all have our expectations. What happens when you understand what your personality style is and where does your partner fit in, it will literally change your whole life. The way you act as a couple will change from its core, and you will also see a tremendous change in your behavior at work or around your friends.

DISC Assessment will transform the way you communicate and give you understanding of yourself and others. This also means that it will make you understand how to adapt your behavior around other people. That alone will open doors you never even knew existed when it comes to communicating and networking with other people.

You can find out more about each personality style by checking posts in the sidebar on the right and take that first step toward change by going to the Store and taking the DISC Assessment.

By Alex Swire-Clark

Why Is Communication Regarded as Difficult and Complex

Each person on this planet gives and receives information in completely unique way. The reason for it is that we all have a specific lens that we look through and that lens determines how we see life. Harsh truth is this: until you learn how to expand that lens, you won’t be able to communicate with people as effectively as you could, and your relationships are going to suffer as a result.

The key to good communication is to understand what drives people to do what they do and say what they say, and why do people communicate verbally in a way they do?

Communication style of every person depends on their personality style.

High D personality style will communicate very directly, and they are going to say things in a very few words. These people like to move fast and talk fast so you can expect them to give you a short answer to a question and answer exactly what you asked and nothing more or less Also, a high D personality type is going to interrupt you if you start to tell a tale and talk a lot. Remember: they are not trying to be mean, but their brain is just full of questions and news ideas and they must say what is on their mind as soon as it comes there.

If a person from your environment likes to talk with their hands, they are probably a high I personality style. These people are very emotional and excited about everything. They have high energy and want to express themselves any way they can. That means you can expect a lot of emojis in their text messages and emails. Also, they suffer from shiny object syndrome, so they get distracted very easily and extremely fast. Remember that they are not trying to annoy you, they are just wired that way and they need you to snap them out of excitement and pull their focus back about the conversation.

Your co-worker or a friend who doesn’t say much and does so softly when they do is probably a high S personality style. This behavior comes from their lack of willingness to rock the boat or to create conflict. These people are afraid that they will offend someone if they speak their mind and you can expect them to give up on their wishes to please others.

Being cautious in communication is also the biggest trait of a high C personality style. You can recognize them through their monotone tone of voice and lack of emotions. Their expression is never too low nor too high. But don’t get fooled; high C’s are buzzing in the background. Their mind is full of questions and that’s why they communicate the way they do because they need to process all the information carefully to say the right thing, at the right time, and to the right people.

Did you recognize yourself in any of these descriptions? Take notice that without self and social awareness, we can not communicate effectively.

The starting point is to understand yourself and your personality style. That will help you know how and why you communicate and how you can communicate with other personality styles.

You can find out more about different personality styles on my YouTube channel or on my Podcast, and if you want to take that first step towards better communication today: check the DISC assessment in the Store.

By Alex Swire-Clark

Is It Possible to Be More Than One Personality Style

There are all kind of great tools out there to understand human behavior (such as culture index, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, StrenghtsFinders test, etc.) but we are concentrating on DISC method here, where you find does your personality belong to D, I, S or C personality style. (The easiest way to learn more about each type is to check the highlighted posts in the sidebar on the right)

Since there are four personality styles: D, I, S and C, it is important to know we are all a unique blend of all four!

That means that a person can never be fully one personality style, because the others will appear in certain amounts as well. How big or small is a different question, but they will always be there.

What DISC Assessment asks you to do is to choose the most or least out of the group of words. It is not uncommon that if you are a strong mix of two or three personality styles, you need to stop and think about what you will choose. Sometimes people can’t continue to the next question of assessment since they are conflicted. And that conflict comes from the fact that they are being pulled to the high areas of each DISC model. If that happens, that kind of person will have most of their traits between 40 and 60 (if we’re looking at a scale of 0 to a 100). So, they are not really intense in any of personality styles, but there will be a high amount of two or three of them and that will create a conflict.

Having more personality styles as your high ones is not a bad thing. The reason is, this also means that you have fewer blind spots, you are closer to the centre of the DISC graph, so your emotional intelligence is going to be higher than someone who has blind spots that come from having only one exceedingly high personality style.

What is good to remember is that there are no right or wrong answers in assessment questions and equally, there is no right or wrong personality style. We are all blend of these 4 traits and that’s how it’s supposed to be.

I suggest you look at the more detailed posts about each personality type in the sidebar and then take an assessment to see where you are on the graph. I can guarantee you will get six pages of great data that will help you better understand yourself. Because if you understand yourself, you will be able to adapt your behavior to meet others where they are and that will significantly reduce conflicts and misunderstandings in your life. Read the posts and then click on the Store in the Menu to find the right assessment for you.

Personality

Concise Adult Version