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Emotional Intelligence

I want to give the PERFECT gift

Christmas is only a few days away and we’re all looking forward to presents! Not only receiving some, but one of the best feelings in the world is when someone opens up something you got them and the smile lights up their face. However, we have all given gifts that have fallen flat. To not repeat that experience, we have created a guide of best gifts by personality style. You can choose from experiences, things to do or things to buy. Here is what is appropriate to buy for different personality types so you hit the home run this holiday season:

High D personality

They are outgoing and task-oriented people. They plan to sleep only when they are dead, they love challenges and have never met an obstacle they couldn’t overcome. They are all about performance and things that will show how they succeeded in life.

Source: giphy.com

Experiences: Has to be something that will be competitive so they can show how well they are performing in an activity. Great choices are:

  • Putt-Putt Challenge (with the family)
  • Paintball (one of the safest sports out there, get it for your partner and their friends)
  • Ninja Warrior Training or introduction classes to some kind of training (if they are already physically active)
  • Things they can do: High D’s are always looking for something they can do so this will be an excellent choice
  • Tickets to a favorite sporting event (it’s the season of hockey, playoffs of football season is coming up…)
  • Escape room

Things to buy or make:

  • Tools (they like to create things and do it DIY style)
  • Competitive games – board games (I am a board game nerd and have hundreds of them and can help you out a lot there!)
  • Paper football tournament with your family (take them down the memory lane! If you need some help, HERE’S a tutorial how to create it)

High I personality

These folks are outgoing and people-oriented. They will talk to anyone, they are optimistic and enthusiastic, charismatic and they love to inspire people. So when you think of gifts for a High I, think: what will make them laugh?

Source: giphy.com

Experiences: preferably plan something outside and most importantly: it has to be packed with fun!

  • Ax Throwing (it will create laughs and long-lasting memories)
  • Karaoke Night (you can find a lot of tracks on YouTube and have a fun family night)
  • Comedy tickets or Improv night at home (remember: whatever is going to generate fun and laughter is the way to go

Things they can do: Again, these are things they can have FUN with!

Party Game night

  • Indoor scavenger hunt (they like surprises so you can do it for free and hide smaller gifts around the house giving them clues so they can search around)
  • Surprise weekend getaway (anything that escapes the regular life; even if it’s a trip an hour away from home or simple thing like waterpark tickets)

Things to buy or make:

  • Tortilla blanket (If you don’t know what it is, HERE it is) Personalized socks with their face on them Funny sayings on glasses or mugs (I spotted one a few days ago and have to share it. It said: “I’m not slurring my speech; I’m speaking in cursive”)

High S personality

These are your reserved and people-oriented people. They don’t want to be in the spot but get energy by being around people. So, the key is to get them something that will involve other people, but in a low-key kind of way.

Source: giphy.com

Experiences:

  • 2 tickets for a movie (with a good friend or a partner)
  • Date night in the house (if you cook for them and they will appreciate it tremendously)

Things to buy or make: remember to make it PERSONAL

  • Framed photos or collages with friends and family
  • Cozy throw blanket or scarf personalized with their initials
  • Shelf decor with sweet sayings (“Home is where the heart is” and such. They will love it!)
  • Donation in his/her name to his/her favorite charity or hospital (they are really cause-driven so unlike many others, they will be over the Moon with this gift)

High C personality

What we have here are people who are reserved and task-oriented. They love analytics and data because they are very logical. So, when choosing a gift, look for logic.

SOurce: giphy.com

Experiences:

  • Photography class
  • Master class on their favorite hobby

Things to buy or make:  think “what is practical?” and you’ll hit a home run.

May you pick the perfect gift and have the loveliest of Christmases! Merry Christmas! 🙂

Repetition is the mother of success. True or false?

There are many actions that each of us takes in a day, every day. I’ll assume most of us wash teeth every day, puts on clothes, brushes our hair… These are all actions that we take in a day and that we have been practicing for our whole lives. But can you say that you are doing any or all of these and similar actions perfectly? Do you have the best hairstyle, or the best style, the strongest teeth out there?

If the saying „Practice makes perfect“ is completely correct, you would be able to answer these questions with a strong and confident „Yes!“. However, there is a high chance that you are not so sure about it.

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These are small actions, and there are far bigger in our lives that prove that not every practice makes perfect, and not every repetition is the mother of success.

Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect.

In our daily lives, if we’re doing something over and over again, we will create a habit. Repetition of action becomes engraved in our brains until we break the habit. The consistency that we create by repetition can be something that is consistently good, but it can easily be something that is consistently bad.

That means that the saying that repetition is a mother of success is true, but only if you’re doing the right things. The logical question is: how do I know that I’m doing the right things? How do I know that I’m on the way to perfect?

First and foremost, you need to be intentional about your actions. Just like when you are trying to eat healthier or exercise more; you are very intentional about it. That’s how you get the results that you want: feel better or have more energy.
In the business world, I find that a great source to find the right way is by using mentors. Finding people who have done what you would like to do and getting ideas and processes from them reduces the effort of having to „re-invent the wheel“.
Another way to make sure you are doing the right thing is to implement the processes that are easily implemented by a larger number of people. The reason is that some of us are task-oriented and can easily get tasks done in a very logical manner. Some of us are more people-oriented and can be all over the place. But if we all have a process that is easy to follow, we will get the result we want and make perfect!

Source: giphy.com

Ask yourself these questions: Do I have the best practices in my daily life? Do I have processes that I follow each day, that bring me the results that I want? Am I just trying new things all the time and having new ideas each day?

Find those things that you are consistent about and use mentioned techniques of finding good, proven processes and implement them consistently. This will cut down a lot of insanity in your company or in your relationship. And it will finally make perfect!

It is worth mentioning that a guide to making your relationship perfect is coming your way next month as I will be holding a FREE webinar for all the couples out there. If you want to learn how to communicate more effectively, watch this space and sign up on time!

How To Follow a Legend?

Having to give any kind of speech in front of other people can be a very stressful task. It can be any speech from a big presentation that has to end up in getting a sale, through talking to your boss about your raise, all the way to giving a presentation of your idea or work in front of a team. But what happens when a person or persons coming before you are either really famous or just knock it out of the park? How can you handle that in terms of your stress and your preparation?

This is a situation that can happen to anyone and it can cause nervousness to any of us. It just recently happened to me even though I have been giving speeches for more than twenty years.
I have been invited to speak in an organization and everyone in the organization received an e-mail that said: “Our meeting this month is in person and our focus is going to be on the Rapport Advantage: Dynamically transforming the way you communicate with Alex Swire-Clark. We had an outstanding speaker in general Colin Powell, chairman retired last month, and our presenter this month will deliver!

giphy.com

Colin Powell? What?!
Thinking that I will be speaking to a group who just heard general Powell speak while having all the respect in the world for him, is really a hard act to follow.
How to do this?

I see this as an opportunity to build upon what’s happened rather than go into panic mode. I see this as an opportunity to have fun with it and embrace it and live up to that challenge. Of course, I will be nervous, I am nervous every time I go in front of an audience but it is because I want to deliver good content to them and make sure that the audience is getting value from my time with them.
What can you do before you get on the stage, what do you do in those moments before?

  1. Breathe.
    Nice, big deep breaths before you get on that stage.
  2. Roleplay all the possible situations.
    Do you know your numbers inside and out? Do you know your speech inside and out? Can you ad-lib if necessary? Are you prepared for questions in the middle of your presentation, can you handle that? Roleplay those situations, spend a lot of time in the pre-work and that makes the actual on-stage time much simpler for you.
  3. Just go with it and BE YOU.
    From a DISC world, I am a High I so I have strong improvisational skills, I am not rigid so not a lot bothers me. I could roll with the flow since that’s the way I am wired. For someone else that might not be the case and maybe you will have to adapt a bit more. However, do not try to be like anybody else.
    Be you, use your voice. Do what you do in the way that you do it and that’s going to give you authenticity and you will not have so much pressure. If I tried to act like someone else does on the stage, I will not be genuine and on top of that I will have to remember content, mannerisms, techniques and I will enhance the chances of freezing up.

Remember, if you are delivering content, you have to be you through it. If you are delivering something that is data-driven, that doesn’t mean you can not liven it up, add your personality to it and appropriate humor.
Make sure you hit these three goals:

This will give you a sense of confidence and satisfaction that you know you’ll do a great job (of course, if you put in the time and the work before speaking).


Don’t worry, trust in your pre-work, be authentic to who you are and do your thing. Who speaks before you, in that case, shouldn’t matter. You got this!

Do You Know What Is Your Passion?

What are your passions and purpose in life? What is it that drives you? Whatever that is, you need to find that in your life.

For me, my passion is my family and friends. This should not come as a surprise as I am a combination of High I and S personality styles, and S in me is all about relationships in life. I want to support people and others to feel good about themselves. From that perspective, I have always had a special place in my life for the camp experience.

As a child, I went to camp many times and had an excellent time there, so naturally, when I became an educator and had to do my summer practice, I chose camp! After switching between a few, I found my forever camp in 1997. That camp is Broyhill Leadership Conference.

Source: pixabay.com / josephredfield

Teach them about leadership!

Broyhill Leadership Conference is unlike anything that has existed or will ever exist. First off,  what kids are learning in this camp is leadership. We teach uniquely; we go from go-setting activities where we teach our students how to set the right goals that matter; we teach them about better communication skills, cooperation, and teamwork, and how to integrate themselves within the clubs they serve. That means we talk about Emotional Intelligence issues and the heart of leadership: being there for people when they need you.

The fact is that when any of us comes to an organization, we come with a heavy heart and some issues that we are carrying from previous experiences. And every other person comes with their own experiences. And we must meet people where they are. In Broyhill Leadership Camp, we prepare teenagers for that: in a way, we peel the onion layers so they can get to know each other better and form lifetime friendships.

Young people are inspirational

What always happens in this camp is we, as educators, go to the camp to try to inspire these young people, and they end up inspiring us.  The stories they tell, the goals they set, and the dreams they have for one another are fantastic! And they are young people, still at the beginning of their lives and with not much wisdom that we older think we have. But you’d be surprised.

So what’s stopping us from following our passions? Maybe the fact that we don’t know what our passion is?

Source: giphy.com

Ask yourself: what is my passion? Whatever that is: GO GET IT! Today is not too late to start with whatever your passion is. Just go out there and do it.

Don’t make excuses. Maybe you are in debt or in a toxic relationship, and perhaps you think you are too old… But all those things don’t matter. If you see something you really want, go get it and do it. We only get one time on this planet so let’s make the most of it.

How to find your passion

If you need some help with finding your passion, feel free to take a personality assessment. Then I can give you information about career opportunities and things you might want to get involved with based on your personality style that you may not even know existed. These assessments are even made for children and teenagers who need so much guidance and it’s the perfect time for them to take one. I’d be more than happy to help!

What is DISC?

The talk about the importance of Emotional Intelligence is especially important these days, and with it the talk about the DISC Method. However, DISC has been around since 400 BC when Hippocrates laid the foundations for it.

More detailed information about DISC personality styles came to us in 1928. A book called “Emotions of normal people” by William Moulton Marston came to light and brough us the basis that we use to this day.

So, what is DISC anyway? In short: something that will change your life. DISC Assessment looks at a person’s behaviour in different life situations, what we do, how we speak, and everything that goes along with it. We can see our unique mix of personality styles divided into 4: D, I, S and C by looking at this observable behaviour.

Once you find out what personality style is yours, we will know how do we react in different situations and why. DISC model is not concentrated only on one aspect of life. It gives answers about how we communicate in the workplace, with our spouses, children, parents, friends…

Most important part of personality styles is finding out not just what style is yours, but also what are the traits of people around you. That will allow you to adapt your communication so that others can receive it in a better day, and they can be heard and better understand. Communication is after all a two way street.

In order to effectively improve your communication, these are the fundamentals that need to be followed:

  1. Understand yourself!
    If you don’t know who you are, you can’t go out trying to interpret anybody else.

2.  Understand others.
You need to be able to read people effectively and use DISC powers for good.

3.  Adapt your style to the style of others to better communicate and build relationships.
Maybe you have the knowledge, but the other person doesn’t. So, it is our responsibility to be able to adapt and share the knowledge.

The first step to acquiring knowledge is a short assessment. It takes around 10 minutes, and it is by far the easiest test you have ever done. It has no right or wrong answers, and it brings you clarifications of your behavior, as well as directions of what to be mindful of. This stuff will improve your life. Because the higher your E.I. is, the better relationships you will have, your communication will be better, and life, in general, will be so much better. Take the test HERE.
If you would like to find out more about DISC, I have answered some of the most common questions I get asked and summarized it all in the FAQ.

FREE Emotional Intelligence Mini Course

Did you know that up to 90% of all interpersonal conflict comes from differences in temperament? Are you struggling to understand others? Maybe you want to improve the way you communicate in your personal and professional relationships. 
This free Mini-course will teach you about the different types of temperament, which one you are, and how to determine the temperament of others.