Alex Swire-Clark

Four Most Important Aspects of Emotional Intelligence

Without the involvement of Emotional Intelligence in our relationships, whether they are happening in the workplace or at home, we can’t expect much success. Even though there is a lot of talk about E.I. and its benefits, it is not always clear how to fully understand it and implement it to create winning relationships.

Here are four steps that will help you build a world-class, winning team around you:

1. Self-awareness

To understand others, we must first understand ourselves. Many of us believe we possess self-awareness, but that is not always the case. We need to understand how we see our environment. What is the lens through which we give and receive information on a daily basis? Do we have a good understanding of the way we see our world?
It is not easy to be objective when answering these questions, however, some tools can help us. One of the most prominent ones is DISC Assessment. The simplest test that you will ever take and which lasts around 10 minutes, but which gives you a clear description of your personality style and guidance on how to enhance your good sides while avoiding the blind spots you have. Take it HERE.

2. Self-management

Do you know how do you respond to your environment? When you interact with others in different situations, are you sure how will you respond? This is a matter of emotional self-control. Even more, knowing are you proactive or reactive, can you easily adapt to new situations and are you going to have an intense reaction to specific people or events. If you learn how to be prepared for your reactions and learn your blind spots, you will see a direct impact on your achievement, initiative, and optimism! Who wouldn’t want that?

3. Social awareness

While it is super important to understand your reactions, it is equally important to understand what the reaction of others will be. The important thing to remember is they might react differently than us. Accepting this as a fact while recognizing the reasons behind their reaction will allow us to adapt our behavior and get to the next step:

4. Relationship management

Relationship management is all about how you work with others and how do you help each other to achieve goals (whether it is in personal or professional life). You should keep in mind that you get energy from specific roles, while another person can be demotivated by the same and seek motivation from a completely different role. That’s the beauty of everyone being a unique mix of four personality styles. You can learn how to use this diversity to motivate others in a correct way for them to create winning conditions for both parties in a relationship.

Even though there are only four steps to building winning relationships, there are many subtle tricks in mastering the knowledge about yourself and the people around you. I have been teaching techniques to do this for more than 20 years and I continue to do so. Why? DISC Method has saved my marriage many years ago and I have seen it transform the lives of others countless times. If you wish to see me in action feel free to Schedule a Call and let’s find out how I can help you understand others and unlock your and their full potential.

By Alex Swire-Clark

What is DISC?

The talk about the importance of Emotional Intelligence is especially important these days, and with it the talk about the DISC Method. However, DISC has been around since 400 BC when Hippocrates laid the foundations for it.

More detailed information about DISC personality styles came to us in 1928. A book called “Emotions of normal people” by William Moulton Marston came to light and brough us the basis that we use to this day.

So, what is DISC anyway? In short: something that will change your life. DISC Assessment looks at a person’s behaviour in different life situations, what we do, how we speak, and everything that goes along with it. We can see our unique mix of personality styles divided into 4: D, I, S and C by looking at this observable behaviour.

Once you find out what personality style is yours, we will know how do we react in different situations and why. DISC model is not concentrated only on one aspect of life. It gives answers about how we communicate in the workplace, with our spouses, children, parents, friends…

Most important part of personality styles is finding out not just what style is yours, but also what are the traits of people around you. That will allow you to adapt your communication so that others can receive it in a better day, and they can be heard and better understand. Communication is after all a two way street.

In order to effectively improve your communication, these are the fundamentals that need to be followed:

Understand yourself!
If you don’t know who you are, you can’t go out trying to interpret anybody else.

2. Understand others.
You need to be able to read people effectively and use DISC powers for good.

3. Adapt your style to the style of others to better communicate and build relationships.
Maybe you have the knowledge, but the other person doesn’t. So, it is our responsibility to be able to adapt and share the knowledge.

The first step to acquiring knowledge is a short assessment. It takes around 10 minutes, and it is by far the easiest test you have ever done. It has no right or wrong answers, and it brings you clarifications of your behavior, as well as directions of what to be mindful of. This stuff will improve your life. Because the higher your E.I. is, the better relationships you will have, your communication will be better, and life, in general, will be so much better. Take the test HERE.
If you would like to find out more about DISC, I have answered some of the most common questions I get asked and summarized it all in the FAQ.

By Alex Swire-Clark

Why Is Your Passion Seen As Anger?

Each of the four personality styles (D, I, S and C) has it’s strengths and blind spots. Knowing what personality style you are will then allow you to get familiar with the strengths that you are bringing to the table. Also, you will then know what are the blind spots that you have so that you can avoid issues in communication, and you can also surround yourself with those who can help you compliment the style that you have.

If you are still not sure what personality style you are, you can find it out HERE. It is a DISC Assessment that I have prepared for you and that will in only 25 questions give an answer to why you react in a way you do and open the doors of communication you didn’t even know is possible.

A big number of people who after DISC Assessment fall into High D category are CEOs, or Executive Vice Presidents, or any other leader in an organization. The reason behind this is that a High D personality style does not take No for an answer. They see climbing the corporate ladder as a challenge and they don’t stop until they get to the top.

Here are four major strengths that a High D possesses:

Result orientated – High D is all about getting the objective met, regardless of what is it going to take. Excuses are not something that they are interested in, rather results that will get them to that objective.

Strategic, forward-looking, innovative – the brain of a High D is always thinking how they can implement something new and better in an organization and it is always moving on to the next big idea. They come up with innovative ideas that have never been done before as they are always thinking outside of the box.

Direct communicators and challenge oriented – when a High D want to present something to you, they will do so in a direct manner. It will be so straightforward that they will usually not give any additional information or necessary words. Your task will be clear and laid out in front of you.

Making quick decisions and initiating activity – a High D is all about execution. They are doers by nature, and they try to pack up as much as possible in a single working day. They have the urge to constantly move so they will not sit around but take the decision on what the next step should be. Sometimes this decision will be based on facts, and sometimes it will be based on a High D following their gut feeling. Either way, the decision will be made.

Now that we know the great sides of a High D, we need to look at the things that they are not aware of and that can be perceived in a negative manner:

Setting standards too high – most of the time, a High D will be sure that something can be done in a smaller amount of time than it actually takes to get it done. As a High D, the standards that you set are too high for most people and if you are not aware of this, you can wear your staff out.

Changing course more frequently than it’s necessary – High D likes the change, and they have to be moving all the time, so they will bring many changes in an organization. While changes for better are always good, putting out too many incentives and new objectives will be hard for people to track. It is important to slow down and let people know what exactly are you doing and why when you want to make a change.

Lacking tact and diplomacy – what a High D will often forget since they are always busy, is that other people need time to process information. High D’s brain is always buzzing, and they sometimes forget to tell all the information, since they are following what’s going on in their head. If you are guilty of this, try giving out all the information to your employees, and see how they can achieve much more with you as their leader.

Appearing angry when they believe they are being passionate – as an innovative person, a High D is excited to speak about their new idea. The downside of this is that they get very involved when speaking, so others can see that as anger or frustration. A good way around this sometimes-unpleasant situation is to take use of other personality style. A High D who wants to be perceived in a correct way can hire an administrative assistant who is a High S. What they are going to get by that is to have a human filter for message they are trying to convey. This person will filter the message and smooth things over so the communication in an organization will be much more effective.

You can learn how different personality styles can work together to avoid blind spots on my YouTube channel and my weekly Podcast. Remember that the first step to thriving in your workplace or at home is self-awareness. Find out what style is yours and what excellent qualities you bring to the table. Take the step today HERE.

By Alex Swire-Clark

Should you be funny at work?

Recently I read a great article about jokes in the workplace, and the comments section was an excellent example of how humor is perceived by different personality styles. A huge debate that was going on showed how not everyone is interested in office jokes. The reason for that lies in the personality styles.

One of the comments that struck me was: “I use humor to drive creativity and productivity”. Humor can be a great tool for that to a certain extent. However, not every personality style is motivated by the same things. High I personality style will love the fun and will find it motivating, while a high C will be more interested in getting the tasks done without interruptions. That’s why it is very important to know who you are working with and what personality style are they to drive their creativity correctly and most efficiently.

Photo: Alexas_Fotos

Another comment mentioned that having fun is great, but you have to walk the line of professionalism at work. This is something I agree with.
Having an atmosphere of all play and no work (and vice versa) can’t function in any workplace. Engaging in fun activities and having time to joke and laugh is great, but your colleagues who are task-oriented will have to know what is going to be happening on a daily basis. This means that they need to know that they will not be surprised or interrupted by a fun activity every day when they come to work, as they are there to work. If they feel as they can not concentrate on work itself daily, you might lose a great worker due to the atmosphere that’s not compatible with their personality style.

More importantly, you need to be aware of the “cancel culture”. This is a quite common thing today; an atmosphere where people who disagree with the rest of the group or don’t share opinions with them get cancelled out and showed to the side. And it is not easy to know what topics can be offensive to someone in your workplace. To avoid finding yourself in an uncomfortable situation, try to ask yourself the following questions:

Is your joke appropriate?
Will your joke offend anyone?
Will your joke cast a negative light on a certain group of people or type of a person?
Is your joke at someone else’s expense?
Can you tell a joke you intend to tell based upon where you are? Is your workplace culture laid-back or more professional?

What you never want to do is to offend someone. That’s why a joke that is at someone else’s expense is never appropriate. The only situation in which you could tell that kind of joke is if the person permitted you or there is a roast going on. They need to know that the joke is being made and be willing to play along and laugh at it.
The safest humor in a professional atmosphere will always be self-deprecating humor. However, you need to talk about yourself, not about the whole group of people that you belong to.
Avoiding conflict that can be created just because of one joke as you can see is not easy. You have to know your audience, figure out the right place and time to tell a joke and be sure that the organizational culture is not clashing with what you are trying to interject from a personal standpoint.

If you are gifted at humor, especially self-deprecating one, go ahead and use it! Humor can be a great tool to reach any audience and get your message through. That also means that if jokes and funny stories don’t come easy to you, you can always practice it. Just like anything else, this can be learned too! If you need help with that, feel free to schedule a call with me, as I have been using humor in every speech I have done in the past 20 years of experience. To know how I use it to get my message across, visit my YouTube channel: learn about ways to avoid uncomfortable situations at work and have a laugh!

By Alex Swire-Clark

Read Your Emails The Right Way

Eighteen months back probably none of us would be able to predict that our communication with other people will soon be completely based only on emails and video calls. When that became our reality it became challenging to recognize what do people behind the screen to somewhere far away in their homes think when they write an email. Most experts agree that 70 to 93 percent of all communication is nonverbal, so it’s no wonder we get confused when nonverbal communication is taken out of the equation.

However, there are ways to improve your email communication with others. To be more exact, there are tells that will help you recognize what kind of personality is writing an email and how can you respond to make the email exchange smoother.

If you receive an email that holds no additional information besides the one that is the theme of the conversation, you can be pretty sure you are talking to a high D personality. D’s are direct and they talk and write straight to the point. They are all about getting results so to communicate effectively with them you need to be professional, direct and short to the point. Just answer the question that they asked and they will be more than happy. You can act the same as they do, just like in this example of their response:
You: Did you get the proposal?
High D: Yes. Will be in touch.

Contrary to a very to-the-point D personality, a high I will be sending you emails with a lot of exclamation points and often emojis. Reading their email means also feeling their energy through the words as it will be full of positivity and optimism.
You: Did you get the proposal?
High I: Yes, thanks! 😊 I’m excited to read it and see what you have to offer!

The most difficult style to recognize through an email is the high S personality style since they are reserved by nature. However, S’s are also people-oriented and will make you feel good about what you sent through compliments and expressing positive feelings. This is the style from which you can also expect an apologetic tone of an email if they feel as if they are not responding to you fast enough. However, generally speaking, the tone of their email will mostly depend on the tone of an email that they receive.
You: Did you get the proposal?
High S: Sorry I didn’t get back to you. I’ve been quite busy. Thanks for sending it. I will look at it soon.

If you keep receiving highly detailed emails from your supervisor, you can be sure you are exchanging emails with a high C. They are detail-oriented because they want you to know exactly what are they trying to say. Their effort to be clear will go so far that they will probably reorganize and edit every email before sending it out to be sure that they will get it right. Also, when they respond to questions you can expect sentences like: “I provided this spreadsheet so you could see our group’s responses and questions.” This is their way of making sure that everything is clear and their thoughts are organized and helpful to you.
You: Did you get the proposal?
High C: Yes. I am looking over the document on Thursday morning. You should hear back from me by 1 pm EST on that day.

Once you analyze emails that you are receiving in your Inbox and figure what kind of personality is on the other side of the screen, it will become much easier for you to communicate. This will also make your communication more effective, and that will leave you with more time to do the things that you love.

The last question to answer is: do you know which style is sitting on your side of the screen? This is the most important question because the first step to improve communication is to have self-awareness. Finding out which style you are in will help you understand yourself and others. Find that out right HERE.

Alex Swire-Clark

Concise Adult Version