How to survive the Holidays with the family?

The Holidays are a time of joy. Family, friends, and fun! However, they’re also a stressful time of year: cooking, cleaning, hosting, and communicating with people that we infrequently see.  Not to mention the little ones running around. All the noise, noise, NOISE!! If you are wondering how to maintain sanity, this is a guide for you.

What is now before us is a madhouse. We’ll be traveling (which is stressful enough in this day and age), we’ll be answering questions from people we haven’t seen in six months or a year, and deal with the pressure of making sure everyone is on time, food is delicious and decorations are amazing. It. Is. A. Lot. The good news is there is a way to have a happy and healthy holiday season.

DISC and its personality styles can play a key role while we find our way through all the stressful activities that are waiting just around the corner. Anticipating our behavior and the behavior of others will do wonders.

Every family gathering has a person that is….

Try to find your family members or friends in these descriptions so you can prepare yourself. The fact is: if you are invited to join a festive dinner or are hosting family and friends, you will experience a little bit of each personality style. Here is the breakdown of what you can expect from who.

Involved, wants to win at every game, screams at the TV while watching a game, cuts the turkey, wants to say a blessing before the meal

Source: giphy.com

These kinds of people are a high D. Outgoing and task-oriented people who just want to be involved at everything. Most importantly, they want to be the best at everything. Ready to take the charge, even if they are not the host. You can also easily recognize them by the subjects they want to talk about. Their career will be often the topic they choose, or just success in general (“Look at this picture here, this is the fish that I caught!”)
High D will be the happiest if they can take the charge and win at every game that is taking place. However, if they have to listen to someone for a long time go on and on about their problems, expect a frown. You should approach them with a long story if you want help with fixing the issue, but don’t expect them to listen to a long story that is just a narrative. They just can’t take it. Also, they will be the happiest when it’s all done and they can go back to their tasks and their grind.
While you’re still at the gathering, try to find something that will make their creative juices flowing and you’ll see a very happy D!

Talking to EVERYONE, making jokes, playing music, creating fun where there seems to be none

Source: giphy.com

High I in your family circle will always do this. Their goal is for everyone to have fun and enjoy themselves. Not a surprise as they are outgoing and people-oriented. If the dinner doesn’t seem that fun, not to worry: they are not just the life of the party, they ARE the party.
Perfect holiday celebration for a high I is a situation in which they can talk to everyone and where they can be surrounded by people. That also means that if the ongoing pandemic stops them from meeting family, they will really be affected. Isolation is something they dread so if you have a high I in your family, let them enjoy the moment. Letting them roam around the house and create conversations with all the guests will make their day and their holidays special.

Hugh everyone, is the sweetest person in the room, helps with the dinner and everything else a host might need

Source: giphy.com

There is no one that puts the family in the focus as a High S. Talking about family, listening to stories from previous gatherings, and generally enjoying the company of loved ones is something they hold dear to their heart. As people-oriented but reserved folks, don’t expect them to talk too much. But do expect them to help you with the dinner, setting up the table, taking care of the children, or anything else that you might need. Don’t be afraid, it’s not a problem for them as they want to be helpful.
One thing to make sure that a high S is not unhappy with a holiday gathering is to try and avoid conflict. If one arises, expect them to leave the room as they would do anything to remove themselves from a situation that is getting heated.

Comes to the gathering early, constantly reminds everyone about the time and schedule, loves traditional recipes

Source: giphy.com

A high C person loves tasks, agendas, schedules. That’s why they expect everyone to follow an agreed plan even during holidays. If someone decides to pull a surprise for everyone or venture into spontaneous activity, you can expect a high C to be perplexed. They just need time to process things and they will need to know why are we moving away from a schedule.
What will make these family members happy besides sticking to an agenda is the lack of anarchy. Kids running around and screaming while the adults are making their own noise will be hard for them to deal with. On top of that, they are reserved so don’t expect them to talk too much by themselves. However, feel free to ask questions.

How to survive all the personalities in one room?

What you can do is an activity I do in my workshops. You can divide the family into outgoing reserved people, or task-oriented and people-oriented. Group similar personalities together so they can share activities. Have a conversation that is aligned with personalities. Find out why people do what they do or say what they say. Or don’t say what they don’t so you can get more clarity in your relationship and have an enjoyable holiday for everyone. Not just this year, but in all the years that lie ahead of us.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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