Discover the Secrets of Body Language

It is a well-known fact that almost 93 percent of human communication is non-verbal. That’s why body language is so important, and it can tell you a lot about a person you are with or meeting for the first time. We’ll discover the secrets of body language to use that tool to avoid miscommunication at work, home, or at school.

When you meet someone for the first time, a person will likely have to look at you and shake your hand while being introduced. And those couple of seconds will right away tell you who did you just met.

Look me in the eyes

Body language is many things, but the first key point you need to watch is eye contact. If you get immediate eye contact, you know you are dealing with an outgoing type right away. So, you probably just met a D or an I person.
Secondly, keep your attention on the handshake. Steady eye contact with a firm handshake tells you that this is a D person. Granted, you might have met some D personalities in your life who were looking everywhere but in your direction. If they are not interested in the topic or current activity, Ds will do that. But, if they are engaged, they will be right there penetrating your eyes.
All of this will be accompanied by pointing. Ds do not shy away from delegating, and they will point in the direction of a person they want something out of very often. While doing so, they will move fast as if they are impatient, which is another clear clue of a High D.

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When you notice all these body language characteristics, remember that High Ds dislike being casually touched. They are not huggers, not even when a big day is in question. While they will sometimes get up in your face and cross personal space boundaries, they do not handle physical touch very well. Most you can expect from them is a pat on the back.

There is always room for comedy

D’s aren’t the only ones who use big gestures and eye contact. You can expect this from a High I as well, and however, you will notice a much friendlier posture from an I right off the bat.
Unlike Ds, who will point at people, Is will use their hands to communicate and keep open palms. They rarely cross their arms and like to keep their hands on the side of their body.
Their amusing mentality and posture will give them away because the need for people to like them is at their core. You are definitely dealing with a High I if you meet someone for the first time and get a joke or two, funny punchlines, or even a little stand-up comedy performance.

Cool Hand Luke

As mentioned at the beginning of this text, eye contact is the first point that will help you decide whether a person is outgoing or reserved. The second crucial part is gestures. If they are big gestures, motioning with their hands a lot and moving around, that tells you they are expressive. However, if they lack minimal gestures or have none at all, you are working with a reserved style: S or a C.

Ss will be very cool, to the point where they don’t try to stand out. The way they speak and move is general; they are welcoming and friendly, but a lot of that is set to mute. Their gestures are reassuring, gentle, and harmonious. Their face will be a poker face. If you can’t see anything in their expression and struggle to figure out what they are thinking, that’s an excellent clue that they are a High S.

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Another tell for an S is if they ask good questions, but they sit there, nod, and listen. They are, at their core, great listeners and will make you feel great after the conversation due to that. No drama, just listening and helping others.

Turn that frown upside down

Another member of we-don’t-gesture-a-lot-team is an S personality style. What will differentiate them from an S is they will stick to the facts and data in their conversation. They won’t make much eye contact, and you can recognize them by a scowl they have. You might think that the person you just met is unhappy with what they are hearing but most likely: they are an S personality. Due to being data-driven, they think a lot while listening and assessing everything all the time. Because of concentration on this, their face automatically frowns. Those frowns are normal. That unemotional side of things is kind of where they live. Don’t worry; you are doing okay (unless you tried any sort of physical contact. Just like Ds, they are not good with that).

Keep in mind that somebody can fake a lot of body language. We are taught that a firm handshake is essential in the corporate world, so that alone doesn’t have to tell you a lot about the person. A High C can learn to smile broadly and give a firm handshake when meeting someone as a sign of respect and authority. So, that’s why it’s essential to look at the whole picture.

Also, as body language says a lot about others, it says a lot about you. And you can learn how to manipulate it to get a message you wish to convey across. What can help you is lessons from Tudor Alexander. He is a professional ballroom dancer and coach who knows the importance of body language more than anyone. You can listen to his advice HERE.

Understand Colleagues by Their Photos in the Office

After two long years, it is slowly time for us to return to the office. That means it is time to take parts of your home that provided comfort to you during the pandemic and strategically put it around your office.
By doing so, you will show your coworkers or employees what kind of personality is yours. This works in another way as well. Maybe you have someone new in the team who joined the company during the pandemic, and you are unsure of their personality in real life. Look at their office or cubicle, and you will get your answers.

Note that office décor can tell you a lot about someone, even if your company doesn’t allow many decorations or changes to the workspace. Seeing a spotless desk or piles of papers will show you the difference between D and S. This will allow you to adapt your communication with that person and avoid conflicts at the workplace and missed deadlines due to miscommunication.

What to look for?

Even though we are talking about mysteries office décor can reveal about a team member, it is crucial not to snoop. These are hints about what you can notice while passing someone’s cubicle or while stopping by for a friendly chat.

What you can notice is:

  • is the workspace nice and tidy, or you are struggling to see the person behind stacks of paper
  • are there any pictures of family, friends, or pets
  • did the person bring any plants to their desk
  • can you notice any diplomas or certificates standing proudly on the wall
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Signs of success and sticking with the classic look

Imagine a traditional corporate lawyer office: big mahogany desk, leather chair, plaques, and awards all around. That is a typical High D office. These people tend to have an ego on the bigger side, and they love to win.
So it is no wonder they like to show their signs of success. Any award they won (especially connected to work) will be framed and will find its place on their office wall. While the walls will be neatly arranged with framed certificates and bookshelves, you will see a completely different image if you look down at the desk.
The desk of a High D is usually filled with different documents and papers, and it might even look a bit messy. However, rest assured that this person knows exactly where is which form. They might have to shuffle through their stacks, but they will find what they’re looking for in a matter of seconds.
Once you see this classic, formal office look in front of you, find the tips on successfully communicating with a  D personality here.

Colorful sticky notes and search for…anything

Have you noticed some awards on the walls of someone’s office or cubicle? This person could also be a High I. They will put up some awards, but it will most likely be the Employee of the month kind of thing.
What will separate them from others is personality. They want to make their space their own, so you can easily spot monogrammed Tervis cups, for instance. But an essential part of the workspace of a High I is the one that signals they are not most detail-oriented. That’s why there will be sticky notes on top of sticky notes, with the whole desk being on the messy side. They will often go through everything on their table to find something and keep bumping into things they were looking for just yesterday and couldn’t find it. And it was under their nose all that time.
Putting things in a specific place not to lose it, then lose it anyway, find it by accident and then remember why it was set at that place in the first place is a classic I characteristic.
They are people that are all about fun, so here is how you can communicate with High I in the most effective way.

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Warm and cozy space

While we all enjoy having a piece of home with us in the office, High Ss are the ultimate champions of this sport. They are all about making their space warm and cozy, a space that will give them a homey feeling. This is not a surprise as High Ss dislike conflict and enjoy having peace surround them. So they try to achieve exactly that in their office. They might not be excited about coming to the office every day, but they want to create space to make them feel safe about coming in every day.
Look for family pictures from a trip to Disneyland they took, or even notes from their children. It might easily be World’s best mom or dad award if you see any awards around. The space will tell you a lot about their family, while it might not tell you a lot about the person behind the desk.
The desk will tell you about their process of work. One side will have a stack of inbound emails and documents that are yet to be handled, while another pile will have everything that’s outgoing from them. Daily routine: starting from A and finishing with Z is evident on a High S desk. Please make sure not to disturb the peace and routine they cherish so much by following tips on communicating with a High S here.

File folders in alphabetical order

A desk filled with file folders and trays that are color-coded and alphabetized will, without a mistake, be a desk of a High C person.
They are hyper-organized and functional. These people can always find what they are looking for since they have logic behind everything on their desks. They’ve got those 42 tasks they’ve got to get done today. Everything in their destiny needs to be created and set up to be the most efficient way to get those 42 things done.
They actually think about the most efficient way to set documents, pens, and papers around the table. This will go as far as thinking that if they are right-handed, anything incoming document should be placed on their left side. In contrast, right-hand side piles will be divided into done, for now, to be forwarded and done. Think: super organization, and you will see a High C desk.
Another tell they have is that instead of having awards and plaques on their walls, High Cs will most likely have a set of graphs all around.
An important thing to remember is not to mess up the system, while the other tactics for good communication with a High C can be found here.

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Check out what Liz Parker, a certified behavioral and strategic growth consultant has to say about office decor:

Five Secrets to Successful Hiring – Part 4

Hiring is very challenging in this day and age. Finding and keeping good people seems to be harder than ever. But if you follow a few easy steps and use emotional intelligence, your next hire might be the best one you ever had.

You can find previous steps in narrowing down the number of candidates for a position HERE, and then move to step No. 4:

Asking the right questions.

To manage to hire the right person for the role, your interview questions need to match the personality style you are talking to. I suggest using the DISC method for this purpose, as I have been using it in my own company for two decades and have had amazing results with it.

But to put things in perspective, it is good to know what percentage of the population what style is taking. The results are in, and they say:

D style = 10% of the population

I style = 25 – 30 % of the population

S style = 30 – 35% of the population

C style = 20 – 25% of the population

With simple math, we can see that Ss and Cs combined makeup up around 60 % of the population. That means:

60 % of the population of the planet Earth is the reserved kind.

That means most people on the planet don’t want to be the first to speak and they don’t like to talk about themselves a lot.
What do most HR people lead with as a first question in an interview? “Tell me about yourself”.
That is an EPIC fail. It’s a bad idea.

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“Tell me about yourself” is a question that works well only with about 40 percent of the population. So, we need to have tools in place that allow us to ask the appropriate questions.

Dividing the interview into two segments

Naturally, a lot of questions will be specific to your industry and the role you need to find. However, before you dive into role-specific questions, you should spend the first 10 to 15 minutes of an interview getting to know the person sitting across from you.

To help you with that, I have prepared example questions for you to use for different personality styles. It’s completely free and you are free to use these questions in your recruitment process and as a base for forming questions that will be more specific for your line of work and the core values of your company. The link for your “Best rapport-building questions for different styles” is HERE.

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Remember, you want to follow job benchmarking so that you can match the people to the role, and that has to be applied to questions as well.
If you follow my question guidelines and steps that I have laid out in previous posts, you can create around 45 minutes worth of conversation with solid questions that will show you what kind of person is sitting across from you and how well will they fit in the company and the role that you see them in.

The more specific question you can get, the better.

Think of this when you are thinking of the questions to ask.
The rule of thumb is to have the first 10 or 15 minutes of the interview orientated towards hitting their personality style that you got in one of the first steps, and then you will go to the question that will be directly connected to the role. This will be the time to check their past experiences and see can they show you where they showed their core values that are aligned to your companies core values.

How all this looks in practice can be seen in the video below. I’m sharing my tools and the step-by-step process I’m using in my own company. Glad to help!

I want to give the PERFECT gift

Christmas is only a few days away and we’re all looking forward to presents! Not only receiving some, but one of the best feelings in the world is when someone opens up something you got them and the smile lights up their face. However, we have all given gifts that have fallen flat. To not repeat that experience, we have created a guide of best gifts by personality style. You can choose from experiences, things to do or things to buy. Here is what is appropriate to buy for different personality types so you hit the home run this holiday season:

High D personality

They are outgoing and task-oriented people. They plan to sleep only when they are dead, they love challenges and have never met an obstacle they couldn’t overcome. They are all about performance and things that will show how they succeeded in life.

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Experiences: Has to be something that will be competitive so they can show how well they are performing in an activity. Great choices are:

  • Putt-Putt Challenge (with the family)
  • Paintball (one of the safest sports out there, get it for your partner and their friends)
  • Ninja Warrior Training or introduction classes to some kind of training (if they are already physically active)
  • Things they can do: High D’s are always looking for something they can do so this will be an excellent choice
  • Tickets to a favorite sporting event (it’s the season of hockey, playoffs of football season is coming up…)
  • Escape room

Things to buy or make:

  • Tools (they like to create things and do it DIY style)
  • Competitive games – board games (I am a board game nerd and have hundreds of them and can help you out a lot there!)
  • Paper football tournament with your family (take them down the memory lane! If you need some help, HERE’S a tutorial how to create it)

High I personality

These folks are outgoing and people-oriented. They will talk to anyone, they are optimistic and enthusiastic, charismatic and they love to inspire people. So when you think of gifts for a High I, think: what will make them laugh?

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Experiences: preferably plan something outside and most importantly: it has to be packed with fun!

  • Ax Throwing (it will create laughs and long-lasting memories)
  • Karaoke Night (you can find a lot of tracks on YouTube and have a fun family night)
  • Comedy tickets or Improv night at home (remember: whatever is going to generate fun and laughter is the way to go

Things they can do: Again, these are things they can have FUN with!

Party Game night

  • Indoor scavenger hunt (they like surprises so you can do it for free and hide smaller gifts around the house giving them clues so they can search around)
  • Surprise weekend getaway (anything that escapes the regular life; even if it’s a trip an hour away from home or simple thing like waterpark tickets)

Things to buy or make:

  • Tortilla blanket (If you don’t know what it is, HERE it is) Personalized socks with their face on them Funny sayings on glasses or mugs (I spotted one a few days ago and have to share it. It said: “I’m not slurring my speech; I’m speaking in cursive”)

High S personality

These are your reserved and people-oriented people. They don’t want to be in the spot but get energy by being around people. So, the key is to get them something that will involve other people, but in a low-key kind of way.

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  • 2 tickets for a movie (with a good friend or a partner)
  • Date night in the house (if you cook for them and they will appreciate it tremendously)

Things to buy or make: remember to make it PERSONAL

  • Framed photos or collages with friends and family
  • Cozy throw blanket or scarf personalized with their initials
  • Shelf decor with sweet sayings (“Home is where the heart is” and such. They will love it!)
  • Donation in his/her name to his/her favorite charity or hospital (they are really cause-driven so unlike many others, they will be over the Moon with this gift)

High C personality

What we have here are people who are reserved and task-oriented. They love analytics and data because they are very logical. So, when choosing a gift, look for logic.

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  • Photography class
  • Master class on their favorite hobby

Things to buy or make:  think “what is practical?” and you’ll hit a home run.

May you pick the perfect gift and have the loveliest of Christmases! Merry Christmas! 🙂

Repetition is the mother of success. True or false?

There are many actions that each of us takes in a day, every day. I’ll assume most of us wash teeth every day, puts on clothes, brushes our hair… These are all actions that we take in a day and that we have been practicing for our whole lives. But can you say that you are doing any or all of these and similar actions perfectly? Do you have the best hairstyle, or the best style, the strongest teeth out there?

If the saying „Practice makes perfect“ is completely correct, you would be able to answer these questions with a strong and confident „Yes!“. However, there is a high chance that you are not so sure about it.

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These are small actions, and there are far bigger in our lives that prove that not every practice makes perfect, and not every repetition is the mother of success.

Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect.

In our daily lives, if we’re doing something over and over again, we will create a habit. Repetition of action becomes engraved in our brains until we break the habit. The consistency that we create by repetition can be something that is consistently good, but it can easily be something that is consistently bad.

That means that the saying that repetition is a mother of success is true, but only if you’re doing the right things. The logical question is: how do I know that I’m doing the right things? How do I know that I’m on the way to perfect?

First and foremost, you need to be intentional about your actions. Just like when you are trying to eat healthier or exercise more; you are very intentional about it. That’s how you get the results that you want: feel better or have more energy.
In the business world, I find that a great source to find the right way is by using mentors. Finding people who have done what you would like to do and getting ideas and processes from them reduces the effort of having to „re-invent the wheel“.
Another way to make sure you are doing the right thing is to implement the processes that are easily implemented by a larger number of people. The reason is that some of us are task-oriented and can easily get tasks done in a very logical manner. Some of us are more people-oriented and can be all over the place. But if we all have a process that is easy to follow, we will get the result we want and make perfect!

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Ask yourself these questions: Do I have the best practices in my daily life? Do I have processes that I follow each day, that bring me the results that I want? Am I just trying new things all the time and having new ideas each day?

Find those things that you are consistent about and use mentioned techniques of finding good, proven processes and implement them consistently. This will cut down a lot of insanity in your company or in your relationship. And it will finally make perfect!

It is worth mentioning that a guide to making your relationship perfect is coming your way next month as I will be holding a FREE webinar for all the couples out there. If you want to learn how to communicate more effectively, watch this space and sign up on time!

Concise Adult Version

This 6-page report provides essential feedback with an accurate measurement of your personality blend. Your report will include the following:

  • Words that describe you
  • Your strengths
  • Keys to Excellence
  • Your value on a team
  • Your DISC personality graphs